Diamonds Surprisingly Unpopular NowS

De Beers thought that buying diamond jewelry would be a popular activity during this recession, but you know what? It isn't.

We're going out on a limb a little bit here in order to project our voice further unto the countryside as we shout that the idea that everybody would buy diamond jewelry as they get poorer because it's such a great gift and investment was incredibly stupid from the beginning. It doesn't look like De Beers had a blockbuster holiday season, and we know their competition didn't: "Tiffany & Co.'s fiscal fourth-quarter net income dropped 76% on restructuring costs and plunging sales."

It's because people don't have money, you see.

Even models can't afford diamonds these days. America's last luxury item is deodorant.