Swedish countess Marie Douglas-David was in court explaining why she wants $100 million in her divorce: her husband was too generous! Then again, he's a heartless control freak. And she's a shrew! They're perfect together:
David, she claims, controlled everything in her life buying her with fancy homes and vacations, and now trying to sell her on the cheap, dumping her on the street with nothing to her name but a measly $36 million in United Technologies stock.
Yes, he bought her diamonds and vacations and furs and houses etc. Be happy, bitch, amirite? But it was all in his name. Including, romantically, her engagement ring:
"When you gave her her engagement ring, did you tell Mrs. David that while she was going to have physical dominion over it, she did not actually own her engagement ring?" the countess' celebrity divorce lawyer, William Beslow, asked the mogul.
He answered, "I took the position consistently that she had it constructively. I said to her, it's absolutely it's constructively yours."
The words that shall melt the coldest woman's heart: "It's constructively yours." Also he was outta town when she said she had a miscarriage, and then he didn't believe she did. Okay! On the flipside, here's what he had to put up with: "nonstop verbal violence," the time she decided to bang that fencing champion, and this:
Douglas-David, on the other hand, sued her husband for divorce just once, three years ago but spectacularly.
She tried unsuccessfully to have him served while he attended a solo marriage-counseling session in Manhattan.