Why isn't there, like, an iPhone app that does all your actual work so you can spend your day chatting with friends on Twitter? Touré, Courtney Hazlett, and Kurt Andersen puzzled over similar questions:

MSNBC's Courtney Hazlett dreamed of doing lazy Nexis searches from the beach.

Engadget blogger Nilay Patel got abused by Microsoft, instead of the other way around.

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Kurt Andersen dined out in L.A.

Music journalist Touré did nothing to decrease the amount of violence in the world.

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Wired's Danny Dumas overestimated the difficulty of getting mentioned in Gawker.

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