'Freedom' Just Another Word For '8-Year Boondoggle'

God, this decade? It sucked. Wes Anderson stopped making good movies, the Vikings lost Mike Tomlin and hired Brad Childress, and this complete asshole named George Bush was our president. For like eight years! Ugh!

This dickbag, Bush, didn't even win the election, but we were all so bored and drunk in 2000 that we just let him be President, anyway, and then, next thing you know, it's 9/11, just like that. It was shortly after 9/11 that all these perfectly nice and acceptable words suddenly became terrible. Like "freedom." Now, that word is like nails on chalkboard. Ugh.

People who still think "The Freedom Tower" is a good name for the new WTC building? GROW UP. After the last eight years that really sounds like a bunch of 7th-graders came up with it. "The America is Awesome Tower." "The Let's Roll Building." "Megatron's Bitchin' Castle."

So, "freedom." It is a thing we like, sure, but that Bush asshole just ruined it for a generation. "Liberty" is a more elegant, mature word for what we are supposed to be talking about when we talk about "freedom," but even that word with its rich history has this total "tobacco company-funded think tank" tone to it.

"Terrorism," obviously, was always a loaded term, but now it is also just a joke. "Evil" was already a word far too cartoonish to be used by serious people in political discourse (unless, you know, Hitler and Stalin are up for debate), so no harm, no foul there.

So: your precious "Freedom Tower" will not be called that childish name, officially, though you can certainly honor all those dead fireman by calling it whatever the hell you like, privately. We will call it "The Embarrassing Bureaucratic Corruption, Gradual Dissipation of Crippling Paranoia and American Real Estate Bubble Memorial Tower."