Fearsome Kelly Cutrone to Write Scariest Self-Help Book Ever

Fashion PR dragonlady Kelly Cutrone has inked a book deal with HarperOne. The impending tome will be "a real girl's guide to the real fucking world." OK!

Incidentally, the New York Observer's Eight-Day Week columnist Meredith Bryan, who met Cutrone after writing a flattering profile last year, is co-writing the book. So there's that lesson right on the cover.

Cutrone, who has risen to prominence as the owner of People's Revolution, a company that organizes fashion shows and stuff, but more significantly as a frequent mentor/berater on MTV's twin-moon docusoaps, The Hills and The City. On those shows she's given scary, sober advice to stars Lauren and Whitney, who both nodded gravely while trying not to pee themselves.

This book will be much the same, but, you know, in book form. Plus, she's talking to you. The Observer writes of the ladybible:

Topics covered, she offered by way of example, will include how to get your first apartment, why it's important to leave a place if you feel like you're going to cry, how to buy lingerie and how to tell the difference between a slant six and a V8 if you're in the market for a muscle car.

Sounds good! The last part seems very impractical for New York City, but still. Sounds good! (Don't hurt us.) Basically what Cutrone wants young women (or reinvented old ladies) to do is chuck out that old Rules or He's Just Not That Into You bullshit. She barks:

Sex and the City was a lot of frosting. I like Candace, and I think she's a good writer, but this isn't four girls holding hands running around New York. It's the real thing.

Hopefully there's a chapter towards the end called "What to Do When the Recession Has Eaten All Your Job Prospects and You're Living Back at Home." That would certainly be the 'real thing.'