"This is a tough time for the very wealthy," begins a story about how "ultra-luxury" auto brands are confident that their customers will survive. Meanwhile, the American dream is now "to be a renter!"

Sure, we've all been concerned about what this recession will mean for Ferrari, Maserati, and other patriotic European "ultra expensive" (direct quote!) car manufacturers. Well, have no fear: Porsche's net profit in the first half rose strongly, and auto execs are expressing the confidence that will get us all through this mess:

[Ferrari's North American chief Maurizio] Parlato says he's not too worried about the attacks on Wall Street bonuses and the troubles in the financial industry. "Our customer base is not mainly those people," he says. "Those people are quick buyers" who favor other brands that don't require a waiting list.
"Our people," Mr. Parlato says, "have serious money."

And thank god for that. Among those with less-than-serious money, the American dream has gone from "owning a house in the suburbs" to "subletting a small efficiency in a subdivided foreclosed house in the suburbs." Which is okay, because plummeting oil prices will help them save money on their lengthy commutes to their new jobs at the Orange Julius, where they are working, pluckily, to make up their 14% stock market losses in the first quarter.

America!

Send an email to Hamilton Nolan, the author of this post, at Hamilton@gawker.com.