Voicemail is totally dead. It takes too much listening. Is this just some fancy notion, or the truth? Either way, it's a New York Times trend story, blammo!

Voicemail is the old thing you push your phone buttons for to hear old voices from old people who leave you old messages about old things. Not very effective in your fast-paced youth lifestyle, is it? Well if you feel this way, join the big youthful club, okay. A Times freelancer has tracked down a bunch of people who share this opinion—probably by using fast-paced youth-friendly internet technology!

"If you left a message, I have to dial in, dial in my code," Ms. Cheong said. "Then I mess up and redial. Then once I hear the message, I need the phone number. I try to write it down, and then I have to rewind the message to hear it again," she added, feigning exhaustion.

I feel the same way! It seems that I'm not alone—everyone in my generation hates voices and loves "text," because we have seen our souls melted into goop and our entire selves transformed into antisocial swamp creatures by the internet's deadening glow. And I thought I was all alone. Thanks, fake NYT trend story of the week! Txt me! [NYT]