Andrea Peyser's Column Now 100% Masturbation Material

I wonder if the New York Post's secret sex beast columnist Andrea Peyser has found some sexy pornography to write about today? She has! "I must have your honey milk," it says, in part:

Gloria Vanderbilt—a rich old lady, grrrr—has written a sexy smut book. Andrea Peyser is forced to quote from it extensively!

"I will begin, softly at first so that you can sleep a few more minutes, the long, slow, delicious process of licking your ——, and since I must have your honey milk . . . I will struggle to stay quiet . . . Master, I whisper as you surrender to our ecstasy."

Andrea Peyser is positively scandalized. Or not:

Sorry, son. Mommy has graduated to the full monty. But at 143 pages, "Obsession," you'll be relieved to know, is easily read with one hand.

I guess there comes a point in one's life where a dame must say, "What the hell!"

How we prayed that this day would come! Just remember Andrea, female vampires have nothing on bloggers. Call us. [NYP]