Lindsay Lohan Breakup Confirmed by Lohan, Locksmith, Police

Farewell, last season's Suri Cruise fashions. Goodbye, Amy Winehouse's bathing suit. Adieu, humanoid version of Lauren Conrad. And so long, LiLo and SamRon's fairytale romance.

  • Lindsay Lohan confirmed her split with Samantha Ronson and insisted the decision was part of a very healthy and mature effort to "focus on myself." Upon hearing this, Ronson changed her locks and discussed a restraining order with police, so confident was she in Lohan's ability to turn productively inward. Lohan promptly had a run-in with the police. Who would have imagined such a messy breakup for this model relationship?
  • Courtney Love's lawyer, on her client's drug-fueled plunge into broke-ness: ""Courtney noticed the money was gone when there wasn't any left." Deadpan gallows humor: the only possible response to having Courtney Love as a client. (Besides asking for a hefty retainer.) [P6]
  • Before Lauren Conrad's contract expired in March, MTV producers supposedly rushed to film enough stock footage of her for the rest of The Hills' season. Conrad was asked to react to various imagined and fictional slights that had no bearing on reality, something which must have been quite a stretch for her. Then Heidi Montag fed the tabloids bitchy quotes like, "We don’t need her." [Gatecrasher]
  • Suri Cruise already has fashion endorsement deals and devoted fans in the celebrity toddler set; her own magazine can't be far behind. [Mail]
  • Forget what you've heard, Chris Noth can confirm he definitely is (not) doing the Sex And The City movie.
  • Sure, the media likes to focus on the half of her bikini Amy Winehouse wasn't wearing while streaking through a five-star Caribbean hotel resort recently, but isn't the real story the half she kept on? Always with the sensationalism. [Mail]