Only a little news trickles out of Passover-quieted Hollywood, but we press on regardless. Melora Hardin lands a role, Showtime slows down, Gossip Girl gets real, Osama gets acquitted, and Grey Gardens gets lauded.

Real-Life Gossip Girls Will All End Up Crazy Hamptons Hermits

Showtime, perhaps concerned about belt-tightening, or perhaps concerned that the shows suck, have been turning down pilots left and right. They've passed on the Matthew Perry series End of Steve, a spin-off of The L Word, and now the buzzed-about comedy Ronna and Beverly, about two Jewish ladies in Boston. The pilot they ordered from Tim Robbins, Possible Side Effects, remains in the game, but it's far from a sure bet. [Variety] HBO has good news, at least. Their new film Grey Gardens has earned its very first rave. Big Edie hasn't been this pleased since Jerry liked her corn. [Variety]

Real-Life Gossip Girls Will All End Up Crazy Hamptons Hermits

Melora Hardin, who deserves to be a big big star because she is so funny as Jan on The Office, has landed a lead role in the new FX pilot Lights Out. She'll play the surgeon wife of a retired boxer who becomes an enforcer for loan sharks to help support his family (but... isn't she a surgeon?) Good for her. [THR] In other thrilling TV news: Have you ever felt that Gossip Girl, about richie rich Upper East Side teens, isn't real enough? Well now Bravo is bringing you NYC Prep, a reality series about horrible rich "social" children who go to fancy schools in Manhattan and poop Burberry-print feces and when they cry it just sounds like Deborah Voigt singing and their tears are made of diamonds and when they die they become the stone lions out in front of the Met Public Library. All of this happens in the first episode. [THR]

Real-Life Gossip Girls Will All End Up Crazy Hamptons Hermits

A Dutch television show has decided that Osama Bin Laden had nothing to do with the September 11th attacks, and that the accusation was just a part of "Western propaganda." Upon hearing the news, George W. Bush issued a statement from his Crawford, TX ranch saying "See? I didn't need to look for him that hard after all." When he found out that the show is in fact a stupid reality show called Devil's Advocate in which a fancy, sell-out lawyer tries to exonerate perpetrators of terrible crimes in the unending quest for ratings, Bush sighed and shook his head said "Well... Well, dammit. Laura, can I get a back rub?" [THR]

Real-Life Gossip Girls Will All End Up Crazy Hamptons Hermits

Indonesia will be adding Fox International's network Foxcrime to their broadcast roster, to be part of cable company Indovision. The network—which features reruns of tons of crime shows like NYPD Blue, Kojak, and the C.S.I. iterations—is also broadcast in Europe and other Asian markets. For a second I was kind of jealous that those foreigners get to have an entire channel devoted to shows about crime, but then I remembered that we have both TNT and USA. So suck it, Indonesia. [Variety]