It's not just cable pundit "teabagging" jokes (attached) we have to deal with today: it's freedom fighters versus socialist/fascist big government ROBOTS! HAPPY TEA PARTY TAX DAY!

No one is happier than the nation's cable news talkers, who have been celebrating their liberation to talk about testicles while on the air. Gawker video Mike Byhoff has graciously strung them all together for your viewing pleasure. But there is news!

Teabagging Jokes, Killer Robots Sweep the Nation

WASHINGTON (AP) A robot was inspecting a suspicious package on the North Lawn of the White House after tax protesters threw what appears to be a box of tea bags over the White House fence.
That prompted officials to clear Pennsylvania Avenue Wednesday.

That is the adorable White House suspicious packages robot, pictured at right, after a similar "throwing shit over the White House fence" incident in 2006. He is the best! (FYI, EVERYONE: YOU MAY NOT THROW SHIT OVER THE WHITE HOUSE FENCE.)

A couple thousand people in dozens of cities across the nation are standing in the rain waving crazy signs that make sense, because it's TEA PARTY DAY!

We could turn on the non-stop Fox coverage, but, you know, we're listening to music right now. (Ok, Shep's on. He is talking to that hack Neil Cavuto and gently pouring water on claims of grassroots popular outrage at the expansion of government.) We'll just get our information from the LIBERAL MEDIA. How many millions of fed-up patriots are marching, exactly?

In Boston, a few hundred protesters gathered on the Boston Common-a short distance from the original Tea Party-with some dressed in Revolutionary War garb and carrying signs that said "Barney Frank, Bernie Madoff: And the Difference Is?" and "D.C.: District of Communism."

Event coordinator Christen Varley, a conservative Catholic Republican, said she was thrilled with the turnout.

"Personally, I envisioned me and 100 friends on the steps of the Statehouse," she said. "I never saw this coming."

That's nothing! "More than 1,000 people" gathered in Des Moines. In Hartford, Connecticut, where in the '80s an anti-income tax rally attracted 40,000 protesters, around 3,000 tea partiers made their voices heard!

Meanwhile, in DC:

Protesters, using a rented truck to haul the million tea bags, began unloading their cargo at the park this morning but were told by officials that they didn't have proper permits and must move the tea.

Hah. Sad. That was before the robot attack too.

Hey, here in New York, the Tea Party is being held at 7 p.m., at City Hall. Newt Gingrich will be there! And probably so will we! You know, if it doesn't look too gross outside.