Mini-Madoff Allen Stanford, charged with Ponzi scheming his investors out of $8 billion, denies everything. He's a patsy! And so nervous that he just says random words that he thinks may form a denial-like statement:

"I have never done do remotely...and I mean remotely...suggest that I would defraud anybody, swindle anybody, or run any kind of Ponzi scheme."

Wrong, cricket boy.