Hillary Clinton Asks You to Pick Your Poison

Hillary Clinton is holding a contest to sucker people into paying her debt to Mark Penn. You can choose a prize, including a not-creepy-at-all day with Bill Clinton. We ask, which is the most bearable?

Right now Clinton owes $2.3 million for making those 18 million cracks in the glass ceiling, which earned her the traditional ladies' job in the White House. Every dollar is owed to Mark Penn, the fat bald man who micro-polled her campaign into oblivion and just discovered blogs.

So she's holding a contest. For as little as $10, you can win one of the following prizes—which would you choose?

Hillary Clinton Asks You to Pick Your Poison

Spend a day with President Clinton in New York City
"A truly once in a lifetime chance: you and a guest will spend a day with President Clinton and a weekend of fun filled adventure in New York."
"A day with President Clinton" is sex slang for something, right?

Hillary Clinton Asks You to Pick Your Poison

Attend the American Idol season finale
"You and a guest will watch live as the American Idol judges make their final comments and decisions on this year's most anticipated season finale!"
Fox is still in the tank for Hillary.

Hillary Clinton Asks You to Pick Your Poison

Spend a weekend in Washington, D.C. with James Carville and Paul Begala
"We'll fly you to our nation's capital for a politically filled weekend to see the nation's capitol and spend time with James Carville and Paul Begala—two of this city's best political gurus."
Yes, your weekend will be "politically filled." Also, tediously filled, self-importantly filled, and hideously filled.

Take your pick, losers!