Ten Lamentations of a TARP Wife

Luckily for you, the wife of the "CEO of one of the biggest TARP recipients" has unwisely chosen to write an anonymous diatribe about the hardships of life as a "TARP wife." Class rage ahead:

We'll note up front that this piece is not nearly as offensive as it could have been; the anonowife acknowledges that hers are "luxury problems." That said, she never should have written this, for chrissakes. Daily Intel beat us to the "Guess Who?" angle here, ID'ing the writer as (probably) Liz Peek, a former NY Sun business writer and wife of CIT Group's Jeffrey Peek (pictured). Liz, if it was you—you should have known the angry media hordes better than to go and write about troubles like these:

1. "[I] am using my credit balances at all the major department stores for important gifts and other necessities."

2. "I haven't even looked at spring clothes... Like so many others, I'm shopping in my closet."

3. "If I buy a present for someone, I have the package sent to their home. I don't want to be spotted climbing into a taxi, laden with Bergdorf Goodman shopping bags."

4. "This year, of course, entertaining our crowd [for my husband's birthday] at our usual multi-star Michelin hotspots would simply not do...We ultimately picked the cozier restaurant-even though it ended up costing us more, so eager was the more chic outfit to host the party. Why spend the extra bucks? Because our chosen place is distinctly low-profile and rarely mentioned in the press."

5. "We've picked up new habits, like making donations anonymously and sneaking in late to black-tie galas after society photographer Patrick McMullan has packed up his camera and gone home."

6. "Like most Americans, we are worried about money. Our net worth is tied up in stock that is down 95 percent."

7. "In an effort to conserve cash, we are eating out less frequently, meaning that I've been turning out some pretty dreadful lasagna."

8. "I drive the family crazy by switching off the lights every time we leave a room."

9. "Using the company plane is now out of bounds; we've heard there are reporters staking out the private airports."

10. "One daughter recently mused about going back to business school. I hope she didn't notice my instantly negative reaction, stemming completely from concern about the cost."

Sounds awful. If only there were some good news too. Oh, what, there is? "The good news is that Americans have short attention spans. Before long, some other group will come along to absorb all the frustration and anger."

Such as: Rich wives.
[Portfolio, Daily Intel. Pic via]