Levi Johnston to 'Write' 'Book'

Levi Johnston, a 19-year-old Alaskan who, unlike Meghan McCain, has held a real job, is going to write a book. Maybe. Or maybe not!

According to "a pal of Levi's" who spoke to The National Enquirer Johnston is shopping a book about his relationship with Bristol Palin and her family, the Palins of Wasilla, who rule Alaska, a distant frigid socialist oil-state. He will write this book, according to Pal, to finance his battle for custody of young Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston, his child with Palin.

Because, yes, a 19-year-old hockey-playing high school drop-out who just wants to go work in the damn oil fields obviously wants a long, drawn-out, expensive custody battle with the most powerful and vengeful family in Alaska so that he can raise his mistake on his own. Obviously.

Another reason this book will never happen:

A pal of Levi's told The ENQUIRER that the young father is eager to write the book to provide financial security for his son Tripp and himself, to set the record straight.

"If Levi could get a million bucks, it would be worth telling all he really knows." said the source.

Right. Who does he think he is, Miley Cyrus? Or some sort of Twittering wine jerk?