Here Is the Guy Who Scared You This Morning, New York

Well, he's not the pilot of the plane that buzzed the financial district (and lowly Jersey City) this sunny, 9/11-y morning. But he is the guy who authorized the flight.

Louis Caldera is the director of the White House Military Office, and he is Clinton's old secretary of the Army. He is very sorry.

Last week, I approved a mission over New York. I take responsibility for that decision. While federal authorities took the proper steps to notify state and local authorities in New York and New Jersey, it's clear that the mission created confusion and disruption. I apologize and take responsibility for any distress that flight caused.

That is one of those "I take responsibility" statements in which the person taking responsibility doesn't actually know what that term means. We really hate those! Either say "fuck, my bad" or just fucking castigate the people you really want to blame (these "state and local authorities in New York and New Jersey" maybe?).

It is sort of New York's fault, because apparently everyone did know about it, but they didn't tell anyone about it. But that is because the Defense Department made them promise not to!

The Police Department confirmed that it had been notified about the event but said it had been barred from alerting the public. "The flight of a VC-25 aircraft and F-16 fighters this morning was authorized by the F.A.A. for the vicinity of the Statue of Liberty with directives to local authorities not to disclose information about it but to direct any inquiries to the F.A.A. Air Traffic Security Coordinator," the Police Department said in a statement.

Obama was reportedly furious that everyone got all a-scared of his second airplane this morning. What a hilarious military/bureaucratic fuckup, unless you were one of those people who was shaking and crying, this morning, as you evacuated your building, baffled and scared. (Get over it, America!)

9/11 Reenactment Enthusiast Louis Caldera is currently on sabbatical from the University of New Mexico School of Law, and from 2000-2008 he served as a director at Dallas Morning News publisher A. H. Belo Corporation, where, obviously, he was a firm believer in keeping the public informed.