Hipster Grifter Kari Ferrell sounds really clever until you notice she just re-used a few key lines over and over, via email. Uh, outrage! New email evidence concerns her imaginary beard-based coffee table book:
A tipster sends us the following email that Kari sent to a band called Neckbeard Telecaster. She was really invested in the beard book idea, apparently:
"I am looking for a boy to allow me to be his beard,
if you know what I mean. Basically, I need someone
to toss their hot dog down my hallway, while I sing
theme songs from syndicated television programs
from the late 70's, early 80's.
1.) I can solve complex math equations, harpoon a whale, reference obscure movies/books/songs/bible passages/pornos/wrestlers/Christmas specials, and shoot a potato gun all while simultaneously singing the theme songs from nationally syndicated television programs of the late 70's and early 80's. If that doesn't convince you to take me, I don't know what will, but just in case I'll continue...
2.) I commonly say things like, "I want to give you a hand job with my mouth."
Where is the pride of ownership in the unique creativity of each and every email sent to wildly random bearded men that will later surface on the internet after you are exposed as a con artist? I mean, come on.