If Only All Hot Tubs Could Be Time MachinesS

News from pilot season, from Disney's secret horrible laboratory, from the mixed-up files of Jim Carrey, from Japan, and from the Hot Tub Time Machine. Yes m'am.

Be excited for: Flash Forward, the new ABC mindbender about the Hoffs/Drawler Funeral Parlor, Joel McHale's comedy about community college, and a second season of Parks & Recreation. These are shows that the networks are pitching to ad folks as exciting members of their new fall lineup. My Name Is Earl might be canceled. So. He giveth, and He taketh away. [Variety]

Marcus Nispel, who directed that beautifully-filmed-but-scary-and-awful Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake, is in talks to steer The Last Voyage of the Demeter, about the Bulgarian boat that Dracula is aboard and everyone dies. It's in Bram Stoker's book, which was based on Francis Ford Coppola's movie, I'm pretty sure. [Variety]

Warner Bros. has acquired the rights to Japanese manga series Death Note, which they plan to make into a live-action movie. The series is about a guy who gets a magical power which enables him to kill anyone just by writing their name down on a piece of paper. We hear Dick Cheney's a fan. [Variety]

I... hm. So? Well. Here's the— Eesh. OK. Hot Tub Time Machine. Is the name of a movie. And it's about exactly what it sounds like it's about. John Cusack and Rob Corddry are in it. And now so are Crispin Glover, Lizzie Kaplan, and Kings boombalottie Sebastian Stan. It's about old friends who travel back to 1987 in a magical hot tub. I guess it's like a throwbacky kinda comedy? 80's comedy pastiche/homage? About a time traveling hot tub? The world is maybe out of ideas? [THR]

Jim Carrey might star in The Beaver, that buzzed-about comedy about a guy who has a relationship with his beaver hand puppet. So Jim Carrey wouldn't be the beaver. Even though he looks like... Anyway, Jodie Foster might direct! [THR]

Oh how faaabulous. Barry Levinson is doing a movie about coming of age in 1960's Baltimore. It's totally not Liberty Heights! That was set in the 50's! [THR]

Congratulations. Your life's dream has been realized. Disney has renewed Wizards of Waverly Place for a third season, plus there's going to be a movie this summer. For those of you who would call star Selena Gomez a rat-faced menace, you people are just crazy. And for those of you who harbor illicit desires for that kid who plays her older brother, well... Happy May Day! Ha! [THR]