Are you overwhelmed today by the sheer force of the $100 million "marketing blitz" for McDonald's McCafé, the "mother of all campaigns" that's "impossible to escape"? Dié Starbucks! Drink McDonald's Coffeé Or Elsé!

Honestly I haven't seen one fucking ad for this yet, myself, but that's okay, since McD's did an excellent job hyping up how their ads are EVERYWHERE, don't even try to miss them:

McDonald's — never known for a delicate marketing touch — is about to drop the mother of all campaigns on you, an everywhere-you-look, invade-your-dreams ad campaign in support of its McCafé specialty coffee drinks that will be not so much viral as bubonic. An estimated $100-million mega-buy across TV, Web, radio, print, outdoor and social media, the McCafé push beginning today will be, according to the company, its biggest "menu initiative" since it began serving breakfast in the 1970s.

Fine, fine. But Starbucks is an identity, not just a coffee shop. The bigger question here is: Will the yuppies of America sell their very faux-souls during a recession for measly $100 mil, forsaking Starbucks for the clutches of McD's? Sure, if McDonald's puts some fucking copies of Akeelah and the Bee by the register, some Dylan on the radio, open a store on Astor Place. Yuppies will flock to that shit to save a nickel. Drink your McCafé, yuppié.

[I'm getting some tomorrow!]

Send an email to Hamilton Nolan, the author of this post, at Hamilton@gawker.com.