Rihanna probably doesn't care that her outfit made people wonder if she's lesbian and Kiefer Sutherand is unrepentant about attacking a designer at SubMercer. But Kirstie Alley is ashamed of her 83 new pounds.

• Kiefer Sutherland is trying to explain why he head-butted designer Jack McCollough at a Met Costume Institute gala after-party Tuesday night, possibly violating his probation. He says he was defending the honor of Brooke Shields, who was knocked over by McCollough, according to Sutherland. Alternate theory: serial drunk driver Sutherland was just completely wasted, which is why he was running around a hotel bar earlier in the evening "wearing a giant feather boa and acting totally crazy."
  
• Rihanna's "somewhat masculine" tuxedo-looking outfit at the Met Costume gala means she really is a lesbian just as suspected. Do her "dominatrix stockings" mean the same thing?
  
• Courtenay Semel, last seen headed to rehab, is apparently broken up with heiress Casey Johnson, who has moved on to partying with Linsday Lohan. Maybe Johnson can now enable a new self-destructive young rich lesbian.
  
• After gaining 83 pounds, Kirstie Alley won't go out in public. But she did pose for the cover of People magazine. [People]
  
• Madonna danced with "at least five men" after the Met Costume event. But she still found time to give A-Rods ex the stink eye. Such a pro. [Gatecrasher]
  
• Brad Pitt said the other night that life is hell without Jennifer Aniston, he made a huge mistake and he wants her back. According to Aniston's buddy Courtney Cox, who had a long conversation with the actor and can be counted on not to exaggerate or distort what he said. [Ian Undercover]
  
• If Paula Abdul seemed weird, it's because she was heavily drugged, she says. Honest explanation! [Scoop]

Send an email to Ryan Tate, the author of this post, at ryan@gawker.com.