Obama Orders Burger With Elitist European CondimentS

When Barack Obama made headlines by eating a hamburger this week, we were disappointed that he ruined his by ordering it medium-well. Sean Hannity, though, found something far worse.

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Obama didn't want good-old-fashioned American ketchup. No, Mr. "Common Man" over here wanted his hamburger with "spicy mustard"—or, horror of horrors, "dijon." Dijon! Real Americans don't like things that actually make things taste like things, Princess OBambi!

Then Sean Hannity plays the old "Grey Poupon" commercial, as if having seen that commercial 20 years ago is the only reason an adult man who lives in Chicago (where ketchup is not considered an acceptable condiment for a hot dog, btw, Mr. Hannity) would want "spicy mustard." Then he literally says this: "I hope you enjoyed that fancy burger, Mr. President."

If Barack Obama had actually said "Grey Poupon" instead of just asking for any mustard with a bit of kick to it we would admit that that would be kind of tone-deaf and funny, but no. The man just wanted some spicy mustard for his goddamn burnt hamburger, Sean. AT LONG LAST, SIR, HAVE YOU NO DECENCY?

Actually, at this point, doesn't Hannity's grasping populism just seem kinda quaint? He's doing his best to fear-monger and rabble-rouse, but this is just pathetic. Hell, on the same network you've got Glenn Beck weeping about how the Illuminati controls the Federal Reserve or whatever the fuck he's on about these days.


Anyway after this commercial happened, in like 1993 or something, it is no longer appropriate to consider "dijon" a high-faluntin' condiment.