A Catholic priest in a sex scandal? Who cares, after everything we've already been through? Well this one is an attractive, popular man, caught with a not-underage woman. Let's condemn his normality!
Father Alberto Cutié, as if he didn't already have a hooky-enough name, is also called "Father Oprah," on account of the great advice he gives out to his many millions of loyal followers down in Miami, where he is a "celebrity priest." A magazine that usually runs cover shots of bootylicious girls got some flicks of the padre cavorting (laying down and kissing and yes maybe a little stroking) on the beach with a lady, which is very bad, for a priest. Cutié himself knows celibacy is bullshit!
"Rather than fighting this reality, you want to inspire people on a personal level to live the best way they can," he told the Miami Herald in a 2005 profile of his work as head of St. Francis de Sales Catholic Church. "I constantly tell people that the church is not a museum for saints but a hospital for sinners."
Keep repeating that last line, and do whatever you want! The fact that Father Oprah was widely esteemed for knowing something about relationships proves he is not celibate. Celibacy is dumb. This will attract so many more female parishioners, too. Everybody wins.
[WP. Pic via]