Bam's Burger Blunder: Dijon Already His 'Mission Accomplished'

Yes, this is partly our fault, this story having legs, but still: this man exists, and that is not our fault. He is the blogger who is exposing Barack Obama's scandalous Dijon obsession.

This blogger is getting to the bottom of mustardgate. He is one of those guys who thinks he's really getting under the thin skin of those humorless liberals by making fun of our beloved messiah, when really we humorless liberals are actually just all like, really, dude? Two million-word posts on dijon mustard? Oh, also, he is a law professor at Cornell.

So in an impressive attempt to justify caring about the fact that Barack Obama likes dijon mustard, Professor Giggles decides to make it the story of how the media ignore Barack Obama's elitist love for elitist mustard, on his hamburgers and lunch sandwiches, and to prove this he cites like a dozen news articles, magazine stories and TV segments about how much Barack Obama likes the mustard that the media refuse to reveal that he likes, because they are IN THE TANK.

This man is a PROFESSOR OF LAW AT AN IVY LEAGUE SCHOOL. Meanwhile, Mark Steyn and Laura Ingraham have joined Hannity in taking this story beyond the internet. (But no one is reporting the real story here: Obama likes his burgers BURNT.)

And Canada is laughing at us, sirs. Canada.