This month's Esquire says that the new Terminator movie is all about a scream, or something, but that the scream is bad, and McG definitely isn't a tool. Oh super. This movie will be great.
The piece by Tom Junod isn't yet online, but it can be found on newsstands (do they still exist?) by looking for a picture of Megan Fox in an overcoat. Is she becoming a private detective? Unclear. Is she 35? Also unclear. She should hire herself for that case. Anyway, the two-page puff piece, which has the half-truth of a headline "McG Is Not a Douchebag and James Cameron Is Not Jesus Christ," sets out to show how this movie is a rebirth for McG, and for the franchise, and for the character of the Terminator, and maybe also for Jesus Christ, who oh my god shares His initials with both Jim Cameron and John Connor. I don't know, the article uses the word "rebirth" about twenty times, but that's about fifty times less than it uses the word "scream."
Which leads us to the fifth reason we know that it's a scene of rebirth - the clincher.
There's a scream.
It's a big scream. It is an important and expensive Hollywood scream, in an important and expensive Hollywood movie. Indeed, in the entire history of action movies, there might not be another scream called up to express so much. It's a literal scream, in that, as McG says, "This is Marcus" - the screaming character's name - "beginning his journey."
Oh, sure, let me just check my Action Movie History Book, under the entry for Most Expressive Scream. Ah yes, here it is. "Huh?" Exactly. But it seems unreasonable for the writer to talk so much about screaming without letting us know what said screaming sounds like. Unfortunately, print is not a medium that can communicate roaring. Or is it? I scanned the article so as to show you its raw power.
Journalism! The writer then goes on to say that this scream that he was just declaring so important is actually kind of poorly done and comes off as funny not rebirth-y and then McG, who is a grown man who calls himself McG, says don't worry they are going to fix that. Perfect.
Now, McG is not an asshole. He's not a tool...But people think McG is an asshole because he's named McG.
You brought it up, not us. Whoever denied it supplied it, am I right?
"My name is such bullshit," he says. "It's a burden, but my parents never called me anything but."
McG's parents called him McG? They sound super McChill. The sour apple-flavored Ring Pop doesn't fall far from the sour apple-flavored Ring Pop tree, you know?