Yeah, this sucks: nekkid photos of R&B singer Rihanna surfaced last night. Do you really want to see them?
Probably, in which case, go right ahead. After all: nobody seems to know where they came from, as they just appeared on a smutty ImageHaven gallery with a single photo tag ("Young Turk," and no, probably not that Young Turk, as he's still in jail and/or irrelevant). Nobody seems to know who got the scoop on this, and nobody really cares that the victim of the most Covered Domestic Dispute of the Year just went whole hog with these pictures. Which, you know, fine.
And everyone else is playing ball: Rihanna's people issued a statement to TMZ (naturally) in which they demand that "unauthorized photos purported to be...Rihanna" be removed in respect to "the artist's rights," yet didn't issue a denial that they were actually of Rihanna. Which means they probably didn't talk to her yet, and are in full spin control. So: go, Huffington Post! Go, other smutty gossip sites! Go, Det. P*r*z, and your Salinger-backpocketing conspiracy theory (hint: it's got to do with Chris Brown)! Go, Us! Except, not. Today, we run nuns having fun(s).
You got the links, but if you really want it bad, we offer something far worse: an idiom. As in, "bad things come come in threes." Between this and that whole Chris Brown thing? There's no telling what kind of awful cosmic shit she's dealing with next, but this, this isn't good. It's one thing to stare at a wreck. It's another to film it coming.
Update: Sister Jez got to this yesterday, and far more thorough detective work went into play. Mistakes!