Like any good beginning to a Saturday night: uppers and downers. Godless teenagers and homeless people.

Seriously: it's a beautiful May day, and ah, what a better time to find out how screwed the city's homeless are. It looks like the city's going to start charging families with income who stay in homeless shelters up to half of their earnings, which, you know, kinda makes them stagnant. For example - if this job took a pint of blood from me every three hours, I'd probably have a hard time leaving it! [Ideas: don't get any]. But at least they get Christmas, right? Sometimes. This kid, never.

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And that's my cue! Off the dinosaur's tail, into the car! Tomorrow: Mother's Day, Star Trek, Charles Blow (hopefully?), and the Fameball's Tour of the White House Correspondents' Dinner. You know who won't be there, though? Susan Boyle. Boom. Bet you didn't see that one coming. Obama: dissed. Susan Boyle? Godless, obvs.

I'm gonna go text some girls. Meanwhile: how you livin' Biggie Smalls? Have fun today? Show us your godlessness...es. Throw down in the comments, we want to hear from the people in the rafters (we know you're wild'n out the most). Also, we'll have some post-game of the White House Correspondents Dinner when it ends. Be sure to be there with us; other than that, catch you crazy kids tomorrow.