Spinning Off Into Nothing

Dead man walking. Rather, Dead 80's Blonde Spinoff Girl walking. Tonight's Gossip Girl features a look back at the youth of Lily van der Woodsen, and sets up a new spinoff. Except, show's not happening.

Yes, we missed this little (read: HUGE) bit of news last week because I was busy weeping from joy/beauty/soaring heartbreak in the Place des Vosges and nobody else here watches this unfortunate pile of misery and pearls of a TV show, but it does, late or not, bear mentioning.

Nikkie Finke reported last week that the intended 80's-set spinoff of the high society kidz show has been axed by The CW. So Gossip Girl is left with a bizarro stand-alone episode about Lily's youthful rebellion in the whiskey-soaked days of rock 'n' roll Venice Beach. Which creates something of a sad curiosity—an Olympic stadium half built, only to have the bid go to another city, a birthday cake sitting in the refrigerator even though little Jimmy died in the grain thresher just this morning, a party dress laid out softly on a bed, curtains billowing in the window, while outside zombies devour everyone. Poor Andrew McCarthy just can't get a break. But Brittany Snow? Consider yourself rescued.

Now, of course, Finke is not the last word on this. People are still acting like the prom queen isn't dead, and she may not be. But with the CW in triage like every other network, it may be time to face the tough turkey: Gossip Girl isn't a hit, it's just a cultural foofaraw. It's no Top Model, it's no One Tree Hill, it's not even Supernatural. So in this day and age, what with the economy and all, a glitzy new wing added to the already empty and echoing Versailles that Cecily von Ziegesar built might not be the best thing toward keeping the monarchy in place. (France!)

So, watch tonight, it could be your first and only time to observe this curious artifact—that lovely new necklace you just bought for charming Miss Marie-Antoinette.