Oprah, Taking a Timeout From Plotting Chicken Riots, Apologizes to James Frey

Well here's one story of lust, lies and betrayal that has a happy ending! Oprah, noted American fast food terrorist, has apologized to former Gawker intern James Frey for de-balling him on national television.

Reports Vanity Fair's Evgenia Peretz...

Last spring, Oprah executive producer Sheri Salata called him to talk about coming back on the show-which for various reasons didn't work out-and in the fall he got a call from Winfrey herself.

She'd had an epiphany of sorts while meditating that morning. It was time to apologize for what she put him through on that fateful day. She explained that her uncharacteristically harsh evisceration of him was coming, unfairly, from her own ego and sense of having been personally betrayed-a redemptive moment fitting, you might say, of The Oprah Winfrey Show. "It was a nice surprise to hear from her, and I really appreciated the call and the sentiment," says Frey. "When I heard her say, ‘I felt I owe you an apology,' I was very grateful. As far as I'm concerned, that part of my career is over and behind me and I'm looking forward to writing more books."

Well isn't that special?! Now when the fuck is Oprah going to apologize to America, the country she reigns over like a thuggish overlord, for offering us all a bunch of free chicken and then calling "psych" on us? Well Oprah?!

But, seriously, is there anything funnier than stringing together the words "Oprah" "Chicken" and "Riots"? It's hilarious! I was walking around the lower east side earlier today looking for pork dumplings and cracking myself up all the while by merely repeating the phrase "Oprah chicken riots" over and over in my head. People, Asian people, were looking at me like I was fucking crazy. I blame Hamilton Nolan for this! Damn you Nolan! Damn you to hell!

Oh, and speaking of "HamNo," as the New York Times' David Carr affectionately calls him, he passed along this Oprah chicken riot-related email from someone on Staten Island earlier tonight.

From: [redacted]@aol.com>
Subject: Never again eat at KFC
To: hamilton@gawker.com
Date: Monday, May 11, 2009, 6:55 PM

Live in Staten Island. New Dorp store. Would not honor coupon. Great marketing!!! Intended to but a bucket of grilled chicken with cole slaw as well. When they didn't honor my coupon, I ripped it up,didn't buy the bucket for my co-workers

and will never frequent you're store again.

Carol

Dammit Oprah...American's want their chicken! Even Popeyes is fucking people over these days!