The recession wants you to stop doing coke, Sniffy Smith. In Europe, at least, coke prices are up, purity is down, and you've spent half your paycheck on a bag that's 91% "pet worming powder."

According to new figures from a UK police group which you should believe as much as you believe police groups, Brits are paying more than ever, for crap:

Prices per kilo have risen from £39,000 in 2008 to over £45,000 (50,000 euros), but street prices have remained stable.

However, new figures obtained by the BBC suggest almost a third of police seizures are now less than 9% pure, the lowest recorded purity level.

Investing in coke and wasting 90 cents on the dollar on baking soda is even worse than finance stocks.