Just in case there was any doubt as to Glenn Beck's status as a paranoid charismatic who regards himself as a Christ-like figure, last night he predicted his own assassination on television.

It's pretty straightforward, really: ACORN is an international conspiracy of poor people who threaten to take over the world with shoddy voter registrations. Anyone who speaks out against ACORN—including a dissident member of the organization's Washington, D.C., arm who recently appeared on Beck's show—is "in danger."

And Beck is the top target, which is why he told his viewers: "If I'm ever in a weird car accident, or I commit suicide or something, after the media stops celebrating my death, could they check into it? Because I'm not suicidal. And I'm a pretty good driver."

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Got it, Glenn! But what if you die from botched surgery on your anus? Should we check into that, too? In the meantime, you better build a bigger wall.