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    The*Real* Idiot's Guide to Workplace Racism

    We live in a racist world, but the Delaware Department of Transportation is doing something about it: issuing a hilarious memo! Who wrote this, some "retard" "homo" "typical white person?" Below, the best idiot guidelines:

    For LGBT Co-Workers:

    I don't consider you gay.
    This is insensitive.

    Never call a coworker a "fag" or "homo."
    This is derogatory, rude, and totally
    insensitive.

    For African-American Coworkers:

    Should we order fried chicken or
    watermelon for you?

    This is stereotyping and shows ignorance.

    For Asian Coworkers:

    You must be the new IT person.
    All Asians are not IT professionals.

    Can you recommend a good Chinese
    restaurant?

    All Asians are not Chinese. Take some time
    to study a world map. The world is made up
    of continents with many countries, regions,
    cultures, and sub-cultures.

    For Older Coworkers:

    You know Wal Mart is hiring.
    This is not funny. An older employee has
    experience you could benefit from.

    For White Coworkers:

    That's how a typical white person acts.
    You are suggesting that all white people are
    the same by putting them in the same
    category. The behavior may have nothing to
    do with the person's race. [Ed.: Many white people are assholes for other reasons than race!]

    For Coworkers With Disabilities:

    You don't need to date; your life will be
    better without a woman/man causing you
    trouble.

    Being disabled does not mean the person is
    socially challenged.

    For Hispanic/Latino Coworkers:

    Can you help me out with my landscaping?
    Why would you assume that all
    Hispanics/Latinos are landscaping experts?

    And there's so much more! Although no guidelines on Slut or Hick Coworkers.


    Send an email to Hamilton Nolan, the author of this post, at Hamilton@gawker.com.