Shia LaBeouf Has A Small Weiner. Has, Not Is.

Shia LaBeouf codifies a Jewish stereotype, Broadway still hates Jeremy Piven, Larry King lives on despite being 132 and not having Carrie Prejean on his show, and Alicia Keys is dating some rapper guy.

  • Shia LaBeouf more or less told Playboy that he (incidentally) doesn't have the biggest tool out there. Thanks, man, like they don't already know about us. He also tried the "put a pillow under her butt" (?!) move he learned from watching porn, and it didn't work out too well. [P*r*z H*l*on]
  • Some Broadway actor tells Jeremy Piven he's still not welcome around these parts. Okay, so he was the guy who replaced Piven off-Broadway in Neil LaBute's Fat Pig way back when, but still: solidarity, brother![Page Six]
  • Once role-model to young women everywhere Alicia Keys is dating Swizz "Swizzy" Beats, and Beats' soon-to-be ex-wife is very much making it a part of what's probably going to be an excruciating divorce. Anyway, this is what a Swizz Beats produced song sounds like. Rap music! [R & M]
  • E! wants to know what Kate Gosselin needs a bodyguard. Honestly, it's kind of a good question. Why the fuck does Kate Gosselin need a bodyguard? How 'bout those kids, no? [E!]
  • Everyone wants to play Frank Sinatra in Scorsese's recently announced biopic, speculation immedietly goes to DiCaprio, blah blah blah. Johnny Depp, James Franco, etc. You get the idea. [Page Six]
  • TMZ got all up in Larry King's grill about Miss California - you know, the homophobe? - being too hungover to make his show, and he was like, I could give a shit about Miss California. But I could give you this! Blaw! And he totally wrecked the TMZ guy's noise with a nasty ripping of ass, which, really, is what everyone should do to TMZ people. [TMZ]