Ancient U.S. Senator Robert Byrd, the man third in line to assume the Presidency should something unfortunate happen to President Obama, has been hospitalized due to complications from an infection, though he will NEVER die!
Byrd, a West Virginia Democrat, "is being treated with antibiotics, responding well and is expected to be released from the hospital in a few days," the office said in a statement.
Byrd has been in Congress since 1952 and was first elected to the Senate six years later.
He has been plagued by health problems in recent years, uses a wheelchair and sometimes appears frail. He has been hospitalized several times.
The 91 year-old Byrd, who last year drifted in and out of consciousness while giving a speech on the floor of the Senate, reluctantly resigned as chairman of the Senate Appropriations Committee last year and is the longest serving Senator in the HISTORY OF THE WORLD! Just how much longer the people of West Virginia will tolerate having a living, breathing fossil as an elected representative is anyone's guess, hell they just can't stop re-electing him (Don't they at least have recall elections there?), but we're sure his hospital room is overflowing with jelly beans right about now.