Bloomberg's Full-Employment Program for Political Operatives

Mayor-for-life Mike "Bitches Ain't Shit" Bloomberg has all the money in the world, and he is going to spend it to beat his mayoral opponent, The Great Gazoo, a Martian Democrat only Bloomberg can see.

Bloomberg bought up every Democratic and Republican political operative on the East Coast and paid them big presidential campaign bucks to do nothing, as Jason Horowitz reports today. Consultant Hank Sheinkopf is in Florida. Hillary-shilling loser Howard Wolfson is probably making a million dollars to blog about Wavves, or something.

Bloomberg has been spending $155,000 a day for four months. Because in addition to buying all the TV airtime, he bought every campaign strategist, so that no one else could have any. Why not have McCain and Hillary's useless communications directors? Maybe two losers makes one competent strategist?

This is like the "going to work at your dad's bank" of campaign jobs:

The mayor, he said, gave them health, life and dental insurance, and late-night cab fare. So it was a nice place to work.

He said that another motivation of the staff was a desire to impress Mr. Bloomberg in the hopes of finding work with him in either the private or public sector, or getting his name on a résumé.

Or maybe it's like the Weekend at Bernie's of campaign work, actually? They are all partying on his tab, after all, charging him a million dollars for glossy mailings to people who won't give a shit until October. It turns out that what you should've been doing with your time was starting a political consulting firm so that you could eventually get a "job" asking Mike Bloomberg to give your firm $80,000 a month, for nothing.

[Via The Awl, who stole our favorite Bloomberg picture]