Need a job, lovely lady? No, no, it's not prostitution, I swear. You just go out with a guy as his "wingwoman" and steer other girls towards him, and fend off other guys trying to horn in on his chicks. Not wanting to fuck him yourself should be easy!:
$30/hour: Personal Introduction Assistant / "wingwoman" (Midtown)
Reply to:firstname.lastname@example.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-05-20, 6:42AM EDT
We have an opening for a part-time personal introduction assistant, aka a "wingwoman."
You must be classy and dress well.
Beyond that you must be able to do 4 things: 1) start conversations with beautiful women; 2) after that, remain totally silent, unless spoken directly to, but smile and look friendly while the man you are "winging" orchestrates the social situation; 3) socialize and block any man or woman attempting to interfere with the man you are winging and any woman he is chatting with; and 4) end any conversation you are having instantly at the direction of the man you are winging. These requirements are essential, not for everyone, and difficult to do well.
Now, this is a job (that's why you get paid), but it's very fun, and you may even make new friends, or even meet someone special, if it doesn't interfere with your primary employment purpose.
This job is not for you if you are uptight, frumpy, grumpy, shy, a man-hater, a debbie downer, a critic, a control freak, a pouter, a therapist, researching, writing an article, with the press, a prostitute, an escort, a relationship counselor, or a feminist with a bone to pick. Gack.
You must be 18, usually 21 for the events we attend. All work is in public at cocktail parties, charity benefits, museum openings, and the like. You will be added to any list in advance, and any fees for the event will be paid. You are responsible for transportion. Subways are $2. Although many events have free food and drink, this isn't dating, so don't ask to be bought anything. If you do ask, by mistake, don't be grumpy and bring the mood down when the answer is a polite no, or you will be paid for the time you have spent and politely sent packing.
This job is definitely for you if you are easygoing, classy, dress extremely well, and enjoy many, varied, and sometimes challenging social situations.
Our roster of full-time wingwomen is full, but we do have a part-time opening. Yes we are serious. Yes we are real. You might even have the time of your life.
Fan mail, hate mail, and non-responsive replies will not receive answers, so save us both the time and don't bother.
Please respond with a photo and contact information to the craigslist email in this ad. Thank you for your time.