Hey, what's this? Our President, Mr. Change, giving a little speech to some guy fucking around on IRC or something? No, look out, it's a Terminator!
The Times reports that this terrifying killbot is "an audio-animatronic representation of the president" designed by Omni Consumer Products. And it will enslave us all, this terrible "Robama." Yes, of course, this is in the Hall of Presidents in Disney World. Which sounds like it's had most of the kitschy charm imagineered right out.
The exhibit will open with the new film, narrated by the actor Morgan Freeman. At a certain point, the Abraham Lincoln figure will rise and speak to the audience, as it always has, but now it will deliver the Gettysburg Address in its entirety.
The real, human Barack Obama recited his oath of office—correctly—and read a little speech, for his mechanical doppelganger. And the result sounds terribly creeepy:
Thus the audio-animatronic Obama purses its lips to pronounce its b's and p's in a way frighteningly evocative of the real one, and raises its hands, open-palmed, while shrugging its shoulders, in a way that can only be described as Obamaesque. Even the president's wedding ring, with its braided design, has been recreated.
But when it's in the desert, walking along the sand, and it spots a tortoise on its back, baking in the hot son, will robot Obama help it?