Watters, you will recall, is the producer Bill O'Reilly dispatches to stalk his unsuspecting enemies and jump out at them with a microphone and camera while they are trying to enjoy their lives and calls it journalism. He followed ThinkProgress' Amanda Terkel for two hours while she was on her way to a weekend getaway in Virginia, and tailed the Washington Post's Bill Arkin for 90 minutes across state lines. He jumped the New Yorker's Hendrik Hertzberg outside his Manhattan apartment before the guy had even had his morning coffee. O'Reilly justifies this stalking by claiming that his targets refuse to answer questions on his show, but neither Hertzberg nor Terkel had even been invited—they had no idea O'Reilly or Watters had questions for them before he shoved a camera in their faces. For his part, Watters has refused to talk to both the New York Times and Gawker about his tactics. We found that odd given the circumstances, so we decided to do a little ambushing ourselves.
Since our last visit, Jesse has moved up in the world—about five days after we spent the morning waiting (in vain) for him to come out of his Manhasset apartment last month, he and his wife closed on a $545,000 home on a cute little cul-de-sac in Huntington, NY.
With a little work, we tracked down the new address and spent an eventful Thursday hanging out in the new 'hood. We met some of your neighbors, Jesse—they are lovely people (we mean that in earnest), and we don't blame them in the least for calling the cops on us because they were creeped out by two blogger-looking dudes hanging out on their street all day. Did any of your targets' neighbors ever call the cops on you when you stalked and ambushed them, Jesse? The officer who questioned us while we were parked outside your house was very friendly and didn't try to run us off, and we're curious about your experience. We should compare notes! Especially because the other cop that detained us yesterday pointed his gun at us. Did that ever happen to you? Don't worry—in the end it all worked out. He was a big fan of your work, and he found it pretty funny that we were trying to ambush you. He wished us luck.
If you just return our calls, Jesse, your new neighbors might not resent you for dragging riff-raff like us into your new suburban idyll, and local law enforcement might be able to spend their time doing other things than dealing with bloggers who just want to talk to you.
You know how to reach us. We'll see you soon, one way or the other. I know you must be having a pretty good chuckle, Jesse, at what amateurs we are at this, especially compared to you. But we work hard, and we don't give up. And we're learning. So it won't be long. Or maybe these furtive attempts are just a Columbo act designed to lull you into a false sense of security. You can't be too careful. Anyway, have a lovely Memorial Day weekend.
P.S. To anybody who is wondering why we're going about this project so publicly, thereby handicapping our efforts: Watters sneaks up on people. We find that rather rude and creepy, and prefer to let our quarry know that he is being hunted. It's only fair, and it's the difference—actually, one of many—between us and Jesse Watters.