So in Canada they have this thing called the "Governor General," which is some sort of viceroy or something appointed by the Queen of England, and her name is Michaelle Jean. Yesterday, Jean kicked off a tour of Canada's Arctic region by gutting a seal and eating its heart raw.
Jean, a Haitian refugee who fled to Canada in 1968, bears a slight physical resemblance to America's own Sarah Palin, as evidenced by the accompanying photo of her sitting on a throne sporting fashionable eyeglasses and gaudy patriotism "flair" on her lapel, and shares a few other similarities with the Alaskan Governor as well—-According to her Wikipedia page, Jean started out professionally as a journalist, just like Sarah Palin! Further, they both hold the title of Governor over frozen states. Sarah Palin likes to decorate her office with dead animals and shoots wolves from helicopters, while Jean, clearly the more badass of the two, prefers to butcher seals and eat their hearts in front of hundreds of onlookers:
Michaelle Jean, the Queen's representative to the country, did it as a gesture of solidarity with the country's beleaguered seal hunters, the reports said, adding that Jean expressed dismay that people would call the traditional hunting practices inhumane.
After eating the heart during a stop in Nunavut's Rankin Inlet, Jean wiped her blood-soaked fingers with a tissue.
Well, at least she's sanitary!
Now, the question on everyone's mind has to be, "How will Sarah Palin top this one?" Maybe she can take down a polar bear to eat its heart AND its liver? She's got to do something, because as it stands now, it appears as though Canada is easily winning the "Who has the kookiest female Governor" sweepstakes, and couple that with the fact that they have health care for all their citizens, and it becomes increasingly clear that America is nothing more than Canada's bitch.