Like hostages whose will for freedom has been completely sapped, slack-jawed Americans aspire only to befriend vapid, idolized television personalities while downing grease-laden comfort food, a new poll has confirmed:
More Americans would choose to share a vacation rental home with talk show host Kelly Ripa (26%) than would with the Obamas (19%), the Jolie-Pitt family (16%), Oprah Winfrey (16%), Jon Stewart (13%) or Stephen Colbert (10%), according to a new survey conducted by Ipsos Public Affairs on behalf of Home Away.
Yes. Kelly Ripa, #1. We can only hope that this represents some half-formed expression of sexual desire by a disproportionate sampling of straight American males, rather than a true awe for the perky one's societal contributions. Furthermore: