Buffy the Vampire Slayer Summoned to Destroy Bad Parents

We got so carried away today with the Prop 8 and Sotomayor nonsense that we totally forgot to peer into the trades and see what showbiz news there is that you need to know about. So here you go now, late afternoon edition.

Yes, yes, we know. Everyone watched the season premiere of Jon & Kate Plus Eight Kids, Several Lawyers, a Coupla Harrisburg Floozies, a Bald Bodyguard, and The Admonishing Visage of a Disappointed Jesus last night. Nine point eight million people who should be ashamed of themselves. Nine point eight million people who were giddy to see this marriage implode while eight poor halfsie children are cast to the winds of a world that will have little use for them when they grow older and stop being cute. What a cold dead place this ugly old rock is. But don't stuff that handful of Halcion down your gullet just yet. There's a glimmer on the horizon! Fran Rubel Kuzui, who so ably directed the original Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie, and her husband, Kaz Kuzui, are planning a relaunch of the Buffy film series. One that will have nothing to do with the much beloved TV series. It's like vampires are popular these days or something! Actually, on second thought, go ahead and swallow that maw of pills now. [THR]

No one's watching anything because all is reruns, except for old people who don't remember that they already saw this episode. So, of course, CBS wins. [Variety]

Al Pacino would like to kill you. Humanely! Humanely. He's said to be eying the lead role of Jack Kevorkian in an upcoming HBO biopic. As long as Steve Buscemi can play Fred Leuchter in a cameo or something, we're happy. [THR]

If you're some kinda fag or dorky fairy chick, you might care about this. Mackenzie Crook—Gareth from The Office, Wooden Eye Guy in Pirates of the Caribbean, and a wonderful Konstantin Gavrilovich Treplyov in this past winter's The Seagull on Broadway—is gonna play in the second series of the BBC's Merlin thing. So, yeah, homo out or have a nerd grog party or something. We're gonna be over here lifting and thinking about Brooke Burns. [Variety]

Pissing On Your Childhood's Grave, Part MCXIV: A remake of Flight of the Navigator. Probably with computer graphics! [THR]