Kanye West Doesn't Read, Only Co-Writes Crap Books

Despite being the son of an English professor, maniacal all-caps blogger Kanye West claims he's a "proud non-reader," though he's co-written a book of "Kanye-isms" that he thinks you should totally read. It's 52 pages long, some of which are completely blank!

Kanye's book, titled Thank You and You're Welcome, helps to unlock the vexing "Why doesn't Kanye have a Twitter?" riddle you've all been trying to solve for months. Now we have an answer—-He's saving up all of those potential banal tweets, i.e. "Kanye-isms," to put them in his little book!

One two-page section reads, "Life is 5% what happens and 95% how you react!" Another page reads "I hate the word hate!"

"This is a collection of thoughts and theories," West, 31, said in an interview about his spiral-bound volume, which was written with J. Sakiya Sandifer.

West said he put his thoughts in a book because "I get paraphrased and misquoted all the time." He calls his wisdom "Kanye-isms."

"My favorite one is 'Get used to being used,'" he said.

"I feel like to misuse, overuse or abuse someone is negative. To use is necessary and if you can't be used, then you are useless."

West is also quoted in the story as saying he has been traditionally turned off by books because he finds them to be "self-absorbed." The irony is just crushing, isn't it? We're guessing that he's given up on trying to exorcise the douche demons that haunt his soul.

Ultimately we suppose the burning question about this book, besides who in their right mind would bother buying it, is why the hell does Kanye need a co-writer for this crap? His chosen guy, J. Sakiya Sandifer, is the leader of something called "The Think Movement." Here's a sampling from of the wisdom on his blog, a passage on apologizing under the title "The Thinker's Thoughts."

I freaking hate having to apologize. When in situations when an apology is necessay, I believe in doing it on spot and getting it over with. This is why I always try my best to leave my (big) ego out of situations and just serve the greater good.

This is going to be the greatest book ever!

"Proud Non-Reader" Kanye West Turns Author [Reuters]