Vice Magazine is trying to be the coolest magazine in the world and, simultaneously, the biggest bunch of sellouts ever to walk the streets of Williamsburg, in an effort to see if it's actually possible to bend over backwards far enough to give a blowjob to oneself.

Did you know that Vice has its own ad agency, called Virtue? Do you get it? This is not just some ad sales team for the magazine and the website; they run ad campaigns for outside clients. But the twist is, they get people on the Vice editorial team, "who presumably are a microcosm of clients' target market," to help them do it! Vice is outside the whole paradigm of "sellout," you see:

Mr. Smith, meanwhile, said that although Vice editorial staff members are consulted about marketing and advertising campaigns, the editorial content in the magazine remains independent.

Uh. Mr. Smith then said that although he just did seven whippets, his capacity for logic remains unaffected.

I mean, it's almost like Vice, for all its counterculture mouth-noise, is just a corporate tool!