Why must Martha Stewart make a mockery of the US diabetes crisis? Our nemesis has written a new book about, you guessed it, cupcakes. Even worse, her henchpeople have emailed, to us, horrifying photographs of the bizarre comestibles Martha's treatise has inspired. This, America, is why you're fat:
Martha Stewart's radio propaganda show is running a promotional "cupcake challenge," which has caused the following items to be produced, and, presumably, consumed:
By: Paulie Kodila, producer of "Whatever with Alexis and Jennifer." Description: "These Cheeseburger Slider Cupcakes were created using the tops of yellow and chocolate cupcakes. The cheese is rolled-out, dyed Marzipan and was cut using a small pairing knife. The lettuce is dyed shreds of coconut, and the ketchup is red icing from the supermarket. The top of the bun was sprinkled with sesame seeds."
By: Mario Bosquez, host of "Living Today." Description: "He made an Elvis-in-His-Later-Years cupcake! Elvis is chubby and glittery!"
By: Sandy Gluck, co-host of "Everyday Food." Description: "Italian meatloaf cupcakes iced with roasted garlic mashed potatoes and garnished with chive blossoms and grape tomatoes."
By: The iconic Jane Pratt. Description: She made this "frosting concoction" with her 6 year-old daughter Charlotte. "Charlotte doesn't like the cake part, so they decided to make a fun cupcake for kids who only like the icing. Fun for Charlotte means pink, purple, and sugar!" Martha Stewart tears families apart.
The one made of meat is not even the cheeseburger one. Why must Martha Stewart always use food as a weapon?