Did you know that any bar worth drinking in is now a speakeasy that would never tell the likes of you its secret location? If you didn't already know, then how do you ever expect to get into one?

The ultimate in speakeasy mystification takes place at PDT (Please Don't Tell) on St. Marks Place in the East Village. Patrons have to enter through Crif Dogs, the hip hot dog place, then step into a phone booth and identify themselves by speaking into the receiver. A buzzer opens a secret door, revealing a strange, twilight world where artisanal cocktails are consumed under the watchful eyes of a stuffed jackelope and raccoon, and a bear wearing a bowler hat.

If you're cool enough to drink there, this is totally old news. Now you have to find a new, more secret place. If you're only learning about it now, it's just another painful reminder that you are unfit to drink anywhere worth writing about. Either way, just give up.
[NYT. Pic via]