Rahm Emanuel Will Send You to Gitmo If You Cross Ari

Superagent Ari Emanuel is the most powerful man in Hollywood, according to the New York Times.

Ari "has emerged in the last six weeks as the pre-eminent power player in a Hollywood that has often bemoaned the sunset of colorful moguls from an older generation...." What has he done in those six weeks, exactly? He merged his agency with William Morris and then fired everyone at William Morris.

But we all know that Ari is relentlessly ambitious and cutthroat—in fact we know this is true of the entire Emanuel family, even the doctor one. So what is really different? Why does it matter that Ari is threatening the co-chairman of NBC Entertainment "with personal ruin"? Surely he's done that a million times before?

"Nobody wants to be on the wrong side of Ari Emanuel, especially now that his brother is running the White House," said one television executive, who asked for anonymity to preserve harmony with him.

Oh, hah. Of course! Rahm is the most second-most powerful man in the country now, so all of show business belongs to his brother.

[Photo: Getty]