This was a bad week to be a journalist, or outside, or looking at a TV, or awake.

• So North Korea locked up Laura Ling and Euna Lee, two journalists from The Current. They received a 12-year sentence. And then the iPhone saved media! Yay!
• Comedian Stephen Colbert nobly lent his talents to both Iraq and Newsweek.
• Adam Lambert preemptively got himself kicked out of the military. Then he gay married Bruno.
• You shouldn't troll the White House's flickr page.
• Let's all pool our resources and buy this amazing house! (Only if the dog picture comes with it, natch.)
• A Fox Newsman with a history of anger issues (really?) hit a bicyclist with his car and dragged him through the park for a while. The more you drive, the less intelligent you are.
• John Travolta admitted the existence of autism! (As we all know autism is what happens when Thetans try to vaccinate you.)
• Salvia: offering a compelling argument for the reinstatement of the mandatory draft since 2006.
• Yay Letterman's ratings are good! Oh no, that snow monster from the North Pole won't shut up about him! Yay, male models getting hurt!
• Do you like torture, flatscreens, and rampant, unchecked idiocy? There is a company in California somewhere you should probably check out! Unless you want to get paid, then you should check out William Morris.
• The Daily Show made fun of the New York Times and the Times totally got them back with a boring interview they posted on one of their zillion blogs.
• Scary old ladies from the TV are dancing, in public! Other scary old ladies are are referring to their breasts as Yiddish grandmothers, for some reason?
• Hey, do the three people left working for The Observer want to write an email list, for free, maybe? At least journalism is marginally less likely to give you HIV than porn, even if the money's no good anymore!
• The lady with all the kids is mean.
• Some crazy person has some crazy things to say about the Gyllenhaals!
• Where we come from, observable reality, a White Supremacist counts as a member of the far-right, even if that fact is upsetting to people on the less fringey end of the spectrum. So, yes, if a Leninist had, like, shot up the Air and Space Museum, or even if an actual anarchist had bombed the stock exchange, we would not be quibbling and starting fights with people who said "Leftist Terrorist" or what-have-you. Sorry, Andrew Breitbart, but the genuinely dangerous and violent nuts, the ones who have killed people recently, are pretty much the sort of people who strongly believe in the nuttier things Glenn Beck explores on his program. Hating the Jews is a long tradition in far-right politics! So yes: James Von Brunn, a neo-Nazi, killed a man at the Holocaust museum this week.

Send an email to Alex Pareene, the author of this post, at alexp@gawker.com.