You, the sweaty awkward one: you look like the type that desperately justifies your daily drinking. Science says it's good for your heart or your mind or something, right? Wrong! Lush!

For some scientists, the question will not go away. No study, these critics say, has ever proved a causal relationship between moderate drinking and lower risk of death - only that the two often go together. It may be that moderate drinking is just something healthy people tend to do, not something that makes people healthy.

I'd say this makes about 100% common sense, in the same way it makes sense that having the last name "Tyson" does not make you a good boxer. Just ask Cicely. Then put down the likker, Roscoe.