Nothing good ever happens when you're in Canada. Take the case of a white-collar pauper who traveled North only to have his wife back home cheat with a lawyer. Enraged and hurt, the pioneer started emailing everyone he knows.

AboveTheLaw has the whole long, sad saga. Apparently, some poor schmuck went up to Calgary to seek his fortune, sending back long beautiful letters to his lonely wife and their four children. By letters, of course we mean texts. Anyway! While this poor fellow labored in the hills and mines of Canadian high finance, wifey was busy getting down with a securities lawyer at the large, troubled firm White & Case. On a return trip home, the husband found his wife's cellphone, read some texts, realized that adultery was occurring, and so began sending emails to everyone he could think of (including most of the people at White & Case), detailing the whole affair, with names. It's some strange, sad shit:

When you decided to start sleeping with my wife while I was out of town over the last few weeks (May 27 - June 7 2009), you threatened my way of life, and you really hurt a lot of people - most notably the lives of my 4 very young children.

You are a securities lawyer at White & Case, so you know how to do due diligence. Perhaps you thought it was clever or fun, but attending a school recital with my wife who you've just met and started sleeping with over the last few weeks is extremely poor judgement. Sleeping with other mens wives, is alone, perhaps the poorest taste and the worst judgement all on its own. It implies a very low moral character.

I would like to especially thank those at [my kids' school] that watched this unfold at the school concert last week, and did nothing to alert me or defend my family. That is certainly a church and a school I want my children to grow up learning from. You have all seen me drop my kids off and pick them up there every single day for the last year. Did you think to mention anything when I showed up there last Monday June 8 at my kids ceremonies?

The poor sap then went on to detail the text messages that his wife received from several paramours. The wife is 'SexyLexus' and the men are, well, the other people texting:

3rd Guy to the Party to Sexy Lexus: Just got home. Is it ok if I get there at 1015. Need a shower and have to get pretty for u. Lol.

SexyLexus to Abiding Dude: I would love to talk to u and kiss for hours :)

Abiding Dude: Sweet. Does this involve a rolling stones t shirt?

SexyLexus: More bareback

Cuckolded in Canada: Are you kidding me? We're married with 4 kids and she's talking about doing more bareback with this guy?

Miami White: Loving it!

Miami White is the rascal from White & Case who's keeping the missus' marital bed warm while old Onion Jack goes north in search of gold.

Miami White: Am in bed.... reading and thinking of you.

SexyLexus: I would love to cuddle with you right now smell u kiss u talk to u.

Miami White: And much much more. Me too.

SexyLexus: You're going to stay home? Call me later if u want....

Miami White: Yes, not going out.... Not sure I can go a day without seeing you again.

SexyLexus: I'm dying.

Cuckolded in Canada: (Sexy Lexus says this when she wants to have sex.)

Later the scorned husband sent more emails to friends, family, coworkers, and complete strangers, detailing the more sordid aspects of his wife's secret life.

Now - if you want to pick a fight with me, know who and what you are defending. I have attached screen captures taken yesterday from SexyLexus's very active porn site which has fan postings that show it is very active. If you want to look up her work you can go to the site for yourself:

Notice the "fan rating" of 868. From what I read on that site last nite - that is a very high fan rating.

In case she takes it down in reaction to this email I have attached screen captures. Apparently her working names are SexyLexus and Lexus888. If you google [SexyLexus's married name] or [SexyLexus's maiden name] and or the name[] Sexylexus you will see other of her recent work and probably also get access to her fan club which I believe you should be a member of. If you do a legal search you will also see that she was recently sued by Lexus (the car company) who apparently don't take kindly to porn stars using their Lexus brand name. The lawsuit is kind of funny, it traces her career from 1999 - before I met her - to just recently.

Also - according to her phone when she was recently in LA she met a gentleman named [OMG, Another One?] who drove up from San Diego and several other of her fans in a hotel room. I don't know if that video is posted yet. You'll have to get an account apparently to download her recent video updates.

He then calls out the securities lawyer and tells him to man up and face the music and the whole thing just dithers and feels sad. Basically we have a mother of four young kids who does amateur porn, steps out on her husband, and uses the phrase "LoL" in sext messages. Not exactly the classy Wealthy People Doing Wicked Things story we thought it might be.

Guess the whole "I'm out of work and so am making a go of it in Canada" thing might have been the tip off.