Some brash "can-do" entrepreneur is selling a historic pair of ugly Portfolio cufflinks bearing the nonsensical slogan "Linking Business and Pleasure," which describes "Gossip" much better than "Portfolio" or "cufflinks." Please use this priceless item for the good of mediakind!

You can buy the cufflinks now for $100,000, but the bidding currently stands at $0. The seller is obviously a man of wealth and taste, and very possibly unemployed. Instead of reaping the windfall yourself, sir, consider donating them to be auctioned off at ASSME's upcoming Swag-A-Thon, a party of unemployed media types that will benefit even worse-off homeless AIDS patients.
Nobody wants those ugly cufflinks unless homeless AIDS patients will benefit. Seriously. [Ebay]

Send an email to Hamilton Nolan, the author of this post, at Hamilton@gawker.com.