How The Love Guru Could Cost You Half a Year of Your Life

Guys, if you're going to go to jail for six months for movie piracy, please make sure it's not because of The Love Guru. Let poor young Jack Yates of California be an example to us all.

That fellow was sentenced to a half year of incarceration for burning a DVD of Mike Meyers' epic dud of a comedy last year. Yates got a hold of the movie at the Burbank duplication company that was hired by the studio to cut promo reels for talk shows. When Yates was caught, in true American fashion he started blaming everybody else:

When confronted, Yates accused co-workers and Paramount employees of putting the contraband copy on the Internet. But videotaped footage showed Yates making the unauthorized copy of "The Love Guru" at work before leaving the building and then going into his car, Assistant U.S. Attorney Erik M. Silber said. Yates subsequently blamed his grandmother, saying that he showed the movie at her birthday party and she then gave it away to a cousin who gave it to a friend who was the former roommate of the man who is believed to have uploaded the movie, but has not yet been charged. In his plea agreement, Yates confessed to making a copy of the comedy and later distributing it to others.

Oh, oh dear. So the terrible leaking of The Love Guru was all Gramma's fault. Paramount was happy with the verdict, as, who knows!, had the terrible DVD not leaked online and been downloaded by sad weirdos 85,000 times, the film could have been a box office smash! Oh stealer of dreams, Jack Yates! Seriously, though, that really sucks dude. Shouldn't have stolen from work, sure. But six months in the clink? And for that movie? Pretty brutal.

In other piracy related news, a mother of four in Minnesota was just slapped with $1.92 million in fines for illegally downloading 24 songs off of Kazaa and then sharing them with other people.

"There's no way they're ever going to get that," said Thomas-Rasset, a 32-year-old mother of four from the central Minnesota city of Brainerd. "I'm a mom, limited means, so I'm not going to worry about it now."

Wait, she's from Brainerd? I know how she can get the money! Have someone kidnap one of her kids or something and then get the ransom money from her rich ex-husband and then have it all crumble around her as Frances McDormand foils everyone's plans and then finally get arrested in a sleazy North Dakotan motel. The perfect crime.

Don't do that file share shit guys! They're cracking down!